Confounded Accusations

oh, Girlfriend of the week is DJ Sprout from Northern State. She's short but can still party...

Thanks for all the support cause I got my MP3 player in the mail yesterday and I'm fucking stoked. It's so cool. I'm in the process of transferring my collection of shit over onto it. It's taken like two hours already. It's so cool though, it's like I'm carrying my whole CD collection with me. No that's not true. My CD collection is awesome and hyooooge so it's like I'm just carrying all of the dope singles from my collection plus an ass ton of other ones I've downloaded all illegal style. I think of it as taking back for all of the really bad albums I've bought over the years and was unable to return on the grounds that they suck ass, which should be reason enough but whatever. So, ya thanks for buying my dumb crap on eBay and to all of you who did... I bow my head for a moment and give it up to you in a most referential way.
My daughter has a cold. It's cool cause she's being tough about it and not really complaining but she's really listless and so we can't do anything fun like ride bikes or go to the park and shit. We've watched so much blues Clues I feel suicidal, which isn't really all that out of the ordinary but uhm, where was I? So ya, she's tired, I'm bored and life goes on...
Done, with the transfer. I gotta go and get dressed soon. My wife is gon' be here and we fixin' to go to the video store. Gotta return the Larry Sanders box set I got last week. Dude, if you don't know already and I hope that you do: Larry Sanders is the best half hour sitcom OF ALL TIME! Dude, I make that statement with no doubt at all in my head. Mash was cool and so is Curb your enthusiasm, Seinfeld natch but no, it's Larry.... Whatever right? So ya. That's just what I think.

well i had to go back to work today. That sucked. My job is so boring and i swear that i can feel my brain just deteriorating, it's turning to mush MUSH~! Stole that from Chico Alvarez, fuck him. Oh well, uhm, i think that i might have caught a cold from my daughter so i took a bit of a nap. I'm such a puss. Whatever. Haters get hated on. Remember that. It's as truthful a statment as you'll ever hear, here.
Oh, the post mistress that i told you about the other day, the cute one who talks funny, is going to guatamala to wautamala? to do some charity work. What a good person but what about me? What about the kid? Who am i going to run game on when i'm mailing packages? It's like on and on it seems to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone... Oh well to quote Piebald, only wimps get broken hearts. I think that i'm a wimp though so it may be that uhm, i'm losing my train here....
I don't know what else to say.. i'm sick, of you.

hey.. is saw a really good movie last night. Big Fish w/ Ewan Mcgregor and to me in a more impressive performance Billy Crudup. It was awesome. It made me cry which really isn't that hard to do. Especially when movies involve family situations. Just see it. You'll be happy that you did.
Mailed some packages out today. We have a little post office in this shopping center near my house. It's cool cause there are never any lines and the post mistress (her term not mine) is a cute brunette with blue eyes and a little belly that sticks out of the bottom of her shirt. It perfectly rides the line between adorable and soft and big and ucka... Plus she talks funny, like she has braces or her tongue up against the roof of her mouth. I like her voice. She's funny, asked me what i was mailing which i think would have pissed me off it was the run of the mill post dude but i told her that it was some Hero Clix . I told her about my plan to sell off a bunch of my shit to buy a nomad zen. She thought it was a good idea and asked me to show it to her when i finally got it. I prolly will but might not.

sorry that i've left you alone for so long. I haven't been in a good mental place lately. I can't afford to get my pills til payday so i'm all alone with my mania. It's not that bad but with jury duty fucking up my routine and all that i'm not exactly a happy dude. This crazy twat that i pal around with at work sent me a letter telling me that she's all mad cause i forgot her birthday. It's so funny. If i didn't think she sometimes read this i'd post it. If you want to take a peek drop me a line and i'll fwd it to you. It's funny. What sucks though is that i have to deal with it. I don't want to but i do work with the retard so i suppose that i at least, on the grounds of maintaining work politics have to at least front like i'm all sorry. That sucks. I should just stab her in the neck with a book knife.
Oh, My girlfriend of the week is Zia Mccabe from the Dandy Warhols. Enjoy. She's a cutie plus she plays the moog. That's def. Oh, i set up a message bored. It's on the left of this... well the link is. Go and check it out. It is sooooo boring but so are you if you think this is fun.
I want to drink some booze. That's kind of how i deal with no celexa. I get drunk. Drunk or depressed. I have never felt this well. I think sometimes that god gets a kick out of me and throws shit in my path just to watch me stumble and throw fits. I'm a modern day Job.
I don't ask for much these days And i don't bitch and whine if i don't get my way... Cody Chestnut....
And i'm keeping my secrets mine.....

sorry, that last one wasn't really worth much. Uhm, ya. i don't know what to say. Really i don't what's funny is that when i say that i usually end up writing an ass ton of shit after it. I think maybe that uhm, by saying i have no words i'm like challenging myself to say something. I've written all this before huh? Oh well, hear it again and love it like it's the first time that you heard it. I mean what else do you have to do outside of this? If you really had some awesome shit on deck you'd be all up in it instead yer hear reading the words of some d-bag who lead off by sayin' he aint got nothin' to say. What's that say about you? sing while i sing a song of six pence and if it makes sense then sing along/cling along to my nuts if you've got the guts then bring it on. That's from Pharoah Monch who if memory serves clocked in at 22 on the top 22 of all time. Dudes the shit. Learned never to sound the same or to rap on a track and sound sane.. That's good advice for anyone i guess...

So i'm looking for a japanese penpal, if you know one tell him or her to look me up. I want to find someone to trade tapes with. Like fighting tapes. MMA or wrestling type shit. I think it's a good idea. So i can get all the new shit from there and, ya you get it.

I saw the lisa loeb show last night. Dude, it really did something for me. I mean she is so cute. It's like off the chart, watching her walk around and talk about food. I mean her voice is so, i don't know, the way she talks is so neat. She is above most other woman. She is so dynamite that she doesn't even like, she's above me giving one out to the gods (IE: beating off) cause to do so would like taint her perfection. I don't even think that you could do her, she's to perfect. Well, i'm tired right now. It's early and i have a bit of a sinus headache so take all of this with a couple of grains of salt. Speaking of salt i'm reading this book about the history of salt which is something you can only do if your stuck sitting and waiting to be picked for jury duty but anyway i at this point in my life know so much about sodium chloride that it's not even funny. It's cool though, i guess it's a decent use of time. Jury update: as of right now i'm on the jury so i can't write anymore about it but i'll like write shit everyday and then post it all like two months from now when the trial is over. It's gonna be like forever though so don't hold your breath or anything....

i got called for jury duty. I don't care. I think that it'd be fun, really. Then i found out that it was a capital trial. Like murder or something, i had to fill out this twenty page thing and answer all these questions regarding all facets of my life, like what do i watch on tv, do i prefer oral or anal, what's my favorite kind of cracker? All sorts of shit, i like plain saltines BTW. So, whatever it also mentioned that my family might be in danger of getting the wrath of a criminal gang. I'm like whatever dude. Someone has to stand up to crime right? You just can't let G's push you around right? I mean it's kind of a little bit scary but i have Oola and she's got my back. I feel better just knowing that. The thing is though if i get called then i might be on the shit till March. MARCH! that's like longer then i planned on being alive. Well that throws a wrench in that plan. Huh.. I think that'd i'd be a good juror. I'm capable of making big decisions and all that plus i can really think logically and don't let feelings affect my important choices, I'm like Sarek in that way. Oh and uhm i'm selling off some shit on Ebay so that i can upgrade my MP2 player so if yer interested in owning a piece of the kid then feel free to browse over there and peek at that poop... I'm out

hey, my friend from work came over last night and watched sex and the city w/ me and my old lady. That was fun. I smoked too many cigarettes though. It was cool because she's like me and kind of has a problem with doing things in excess so it was nice to have someone around who wants to drink and smoke and be all unhealthy and stupid. Ya, so whatever that's worth i had fun and i think she did too. I don't care though cause i did so, i mean what else matters?
I rented a video on saturday and didn't watch it. That makes me feel dumb. I mean it only cost a buck ninety nine so it wasn't that big of a deal but i mean i spent like an hour picking it out and then i came home and watched Boston Public instead. B.P's not even that great of a show. Why am i writing this?
It's the morning. Zelly is watching Clusies as she likes to call it so i snuck away to do this, i'm a sneak. I wear my sneakers but i'm not a sneak. Well i am a sneak and i don't wear sneakers. I wear timberlands. I wonder if it's warm enough to take the Z out for a bike ride? Maybe? I'll wait till noon or so and guage it then....
I think that i might do some freelance life coaching. If you know anyone who needs it have em' drop the kid a line... I think that i'd charge like 150.00 a month and would give like 3 hours of person to person coaching and some amount of phone time, nothing after nine o'clock though.. i work the early shift over at the liberry...

You know what I want? A star trek uniform. I don't want to pay retail though, I want to find it 2nd hand or something like that. I think it's gay and geeky either way but if I actually go out and spend my hard earned (or hardly earned) skrillions on it then, i don't know, i'm stupid, stupider?
I don't want the pants, just the shirt and don't ask me why. I love the trek an ass ton but I don't think that's it. I think that maybe this would be the ultimate in alternative gear. I mean how alternative is it to dress like all yer alt buddies in like doc martens or uhm, rock and roll t-shirts or whatever it is that kids are sporting nowadays. I don't care. This is stupid. I think that I'm going to go and shoot myself in the face now. Oh, and fuck what you think Rakim is the G.O.A.T. That's a fact. Whether or not I said it and then posted it. It's indisputable....

Hey I was watching VH1 or some other gay shit like that and they did a list of the top 22 MCs of all time. It was total horseshit so as I consider myself to be a hip-hop historian of sorts I went and compiled my own. I don't feel like getting into all the details of why i picked who or for what reason. I will at some point do that but whatever, here it is. Take it for what it's worth.
1. Rakim
2. KRS 1
3. Run DMC
4. Cool J
5. De La Soul
6. Outkast
7. Tribe
8. Chuck D
9. Eminem
10. Biggie
11. EPMD
12. Ice Cube
13. Snoop
14. Redman
15. Method Man
16. Busta Rhymes
17. Treach
18. Big Daddy Kane
19. Kool G Rap
20. Kool Keith
21. Monch
22. Ol’ Dirty

I got lent to another department today at work. They had me covering books and look dude let me get one thing straight and that thing is this; dudes are not in general good at folding paper or paper like material. That's a fact. Like it or leave it but learn to love it cause it's the truth and until the world present wrapping champion has a somewhat macho name like Rob that's just the way it's going to be.
Oh well it fucking sucked ass, you have to do like forty books an hour and well i think i did twenty in two hours and then fifteen of them had to be redone cause the sucked. Fuck em' for not recognizing the right man for the job or in this case the wrong man. Pueblo Picasso never got called an asshole, not in new york but i got called one for failing to be pussy enough to cover books like a robot. Well in all honesty no one called me an asshole but i felt like one cause everyone kept trying to give me tips on how to do it better and all that did was make me nervous and that made me wacker. Oh well. Such is life. I guess.

Well today is a day. That's about it. I wrote some, then played playstation. Soon i'll go over to my mom's for dinner and i don't know why but i seem to be getting a tan. That's wierd huh? A winter tan. I guess it's good to be me. If i only didn't get my winter ten pounds of fat gain i'd be ruling. Oh well. I wish that i could ride my bike more. I love to do that. It's dope cause i got a little bike seat thing for Zelly to sit in. She totally digs it. We go to this secret creek spot that i discovered years ago. She likes to throw rocks in the water. I found some cool little rocks and shit for my hermit crab's tank yesterday plus some neat shards of sea glass. I like that stuff. I don't know why. I guess cause it's smooth. How boring. What the fuck is a buffalo wing sandwich? Sounds gnarly. What about the bones? Prolly like a mcrib. Which is hella good in a gross kind of way. I like the sauce. Hows that for a confession. Don't think less of me.

I like to clean house. I like to vacuum. I don't know, I think it's relaxing. I like to see the shit get picked up off the ground. We have dogs so I think that it's necessary to do it daily but here's a little secret, I keep it out all day and do it like five or six times. Is that crazy? I think that it might be. I don't care really, but it is a little strange. Uhm it might be like an OCD but more likely it's just cause I don't like seeing white Oola hair on our red rug. The thing is that I REALLY hate it. It's made me so mad that I want to scream. I haven't. Screamed, but I've wanted to and that sort of bugs me. When I do. Scream, I'll prolly scream twice as long just cause of what's making me scream. Is that weird?

Hey, uhm this is funny, no not really. Well anyway I had this dream last night where during which I fooled around with one of my wife's good friends. She gave me head. That was funny to write. I don't think I'll say her name cause well, she has a boyfriend of sorts and I guess it would just be awkward and weird cause we're buddies too and yah so anyway. In my dream we were napping together and she did it. I woke up hugely aroused and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and listened to Howard Stern and drank coffee. I'm still pretty hyped up about it. During the dream I napped on her thigh. She's really tan, she's Mexican and she has really pretty skin. Ugh, sorry I think it's fun to have sex dreams. It's like cheating but not. My friend at work told me about having a dream about this other dude at work. I thought that was weird cause he's not all cute or anything. I think I was kind of jealous too, if anyone at work is in sexy dreams I want it to be me. I'm a dick that way. Not that she's not cute so don't take it this way but I'm this way with everyone, I want to be the object of everyone's affection. Fat, stupid, ugly, whatever, I think it's some kind of ego problem. I don't know, who cares really. I'm prolly insecure, no I know that I am so I need attention from girls. Oh well, I guess I could have worse weaknesses like uhm freebase.