Confounded Accusations

I am disappointed every morning that I wake up
I am disappointed by the feeling of waking up next to you
call me up and let me know that my sick guilt is so unwelcome, it's so unwelcome ya.

I should have more to say, I think that my shit is so fucked that I should have an ass ton of crap to impart on you but it's so fucking fucked that I don't even want to share it. I don't want it. I don't want to be me I don't want to feel like I feel. I feel like a god damned 15 yr. Old who can't control his use of the phone. Like I don't want to call and can't help it at the same time. Piebald says that only wimps get broken hearts. I'm a wimp. My shit is messed up, messed the fuck up. GOD, I totally hate my stupid ass so much that I don't even want to be Ian Curtis anymore cause it'd be way to easy to smoke my ass. I deserve this guilt and I think that every moment that I hate myself and every moment that I feel like I can't make it to the next one that maybe I'm helping myself to get better. I've quit my meds. That's not smart but whatever, I don't want to have something that might make me feel falsely better about this situation. I want to suck the marrow from the bone that I broke and taste the gnarly meat between my teeth. I want to be melodramatic with my pain and feel every little bit cause ultimately I deserve it, cause I'm a motherfucking asshole.

we have suffered for years under the tyranny of sadaam. So now i have something in my eye that itches. I don't know what is worse.