Confounded Accusations

It's raining, on and off. I think that i'm going to take my bike over around the corner and take a peek in the junior high's dumpster. I can see it over my back fence, there is something really big in there. I think it's a couch but i'm not really sure. It bears further investigation.
I was over there one time poking around because i saw that they rented a whole 'nother dumpster and that people where carrying boxes over to it all day. What it was, was really awesome but of little use to me. I guess that they had to clean out some storage space or something but anyway it was full of year books, bazillions of them.
I'm not the crafty (as in making crafts) type but if i was, if i was someone like Lefty Bir i prolly would have shit a brick. I mean dude it was all like 60's and 70's books with weird hairdos and goofy bellbottomed kids with suede fringed out jackets... all protesting 'nam or civil rights or whatev'.
I, uhm... So far all paragraphs start with the letter I, except for this on, hold on, i'm gonna go back... There, now they all do. Including this one.....

Today is my wife's birthday. I am so bad at this sort of thing. I tried, i made a plan to get a bunch of her chick friends together and go to the Hustler Club or to the Mitchell Brother's Theatre in San Fran, should have been a hoot, getting lap dances and shit while hanging out with my Maritza's little rockabilly friends. Alas, i lost my ID card and can't get one in time to be able to have some fake looking skeezer rub against my nards, for cash. Dude, i am lame. So now it's the day and i ruined it and i can't think of anything else to do that'd be fun. I suck as a party planner.
Aside from that, nothing cool, well i watched this blonde girl upstairs smell her hair for five minutes straight. I wonder what it smelled like. I wonder if she would have given me a wiff if i'd asked nicely. I wonder if it smelled good or if it was totally rank. I'd have to lean toward rank even though there is a chance that she was suprised at how nice it was and just couldn't stop taking it in. Doubtful but maybe. It prolly smelled like cigarettes cause she was out last night at a goofy frat style kegger and wound up in the back seat of a VW bug with a rasta who smoked way more roll your own cigarettes then he does ganja, cause he's a poser.
His dreads where attached to his hat. If i'd been there i might have warned her but i think deep down that she knew and just didn't care cause she hasn't smoked any grass since she broke up with her boyfriend six weeks ago. He supplied her and her buddys with herb and since the breakup was so bad she can't call him to kick the ball through the net for her and hence.. dry spell, fake ass rastas and cigarette hair..

I was poking around my Tivo today, a product that I would do a commercial for in a heartbeat, FOR FREE. Tivo rules. Werd. Dude, even if you only watch a little bit of TV Tivo is the fucking SHIT>>>> Anyway Tivo has this feature where it tapes every episode of a show that you pick. It's called a season pass. For example you uhm Dweezil and Lisa ( I do, so what?) ? Set up a season pass and BAM it tapes all the new shows and sets up aside for you to watch whenever you have the muster. Any how I was poking around and saw my personal, in order of priority should they overlap, top 5... Here goes
1.Survivor
2.Lost
3.Monday Night Raw
4.Spiderman And His Amazing Friends
and.. .............Dance 360
I looked, couldn't find a website for this but ok, it's like club MTV or that show on USA back in the 80's or like even American Bandstand if you like. But it's modern and all the chicks dress like total skeezers and no one can dance. It's awesome. So funny. I implore you watch an episode of this show if you can find it. I usually watch like 5 minutes or thereabouts and get at least two hours worth of laughs...

i just got off of Sara's blog.. look over to your left for a link. It's good, She kind of feels like it might be something that she isn't really doing all that she can as far as getting people to look at it so take a peek. It's not a waste of time. being here is actually a way bigger, like Marshall Crenshaw favorite waste of time level activity.. So she said today and this isn't the usual way of being but she said some shit that i disagreed with. Uhm she was talking about Hunter Thompson and how he popped himself the other day, she was suprised that he did it. No I think that she was suprised that he died, she thought that he'd make like Ras Al Ghul and live til the end of time, using the power of the pen to torment future generations with his opinions and hubris, whatever.
Finding out that he took his own life into his own hands seems as weird as hearing that I did it. Not that i;m comparing myself to him in any way other then the fact that a doctor would classify us a high suicide risks. I liked him though and will be sad to know that there won't be any new work coming my way, from his. At least we have what we have. I read somewhere awhile back that the new cut of Fear and Loathing has him doing a commentary track. I didn't really like the movie all that much but i'd be hard pressed to admit that it wouldn't warrant another listen with Hunter along with you for the trip.
Dude, i just lost this. For some weird reason i decided to copy it to the clipboard. Dude, that was like the most lucky thing. I wonder why i did that? Good for me. I lost something though, i did this story about Zelly and her inability to listen to me in regards to cleaning up after herself. She won't, that was the point of the story.
Here is a pic of her room. It's gross. I clean it up so often. She destroys it soon after. Thing is that she doesn't mind. Not at all. She's in there playing up a storm. I can hear her singing and, wooow, something just fell on the ground.... So, she's singing and playing. I can hear her, it sounds nice. I should clean it up later. Give her some time to enjoy the, man i can hear her totally spilling shit on the carpet... like duplos. Lots of duplos.
Polk is sitting on my lap. Her and me have become really close. She helps. I like having a cat. I like how she does her own shit most of the time but sometimes she wants to hang out with me and see what I'm up to...
I'm listening to Wrestling Observer Live, i taped it yesterday. It's a cool show, if you like wrestling. They have this commercial for the Pabst Blue Ribbon rodeo team. i would so love to be a member of that. I wonder if i could ride a cow. I can ride a horse, believe it or not. I'm from Tennessee. I'm sure that I could get up on the cow, stay there for like a second but i don't think i could stay all up in it for 8 full counts, well not everytime. Maybe sometimes. I should look around Sonoma County for a mechanical bull i can ride. I would so do that. If i was drunk

I haven't been really all that good at this lately. So, i found out that i'm actually like really sick, nah, that's not true. I guess what i am is a carrier for this like super future anti-biot resistant version of some plague like pox or something, pus overflowing, ass crack second hole causing, evil zit maker, nostril reddener (all that happened to me over the last couple) super bug. I guess it's not resistant to all anti-biots, just a lot of them so if this shit flares up. It's in remission, i guess, right now, i have to rush me and all my close kin to Dr. Bloom's office, like day or night to get shot full of all the latest anti-aids drugs and whatever that's keeping Magic Johnson alive, like he doesn't have the AIDS running around his veins. Man, it explains why my health has been all up and down these past few months. Dude, don't pity me. I shall arise, like Jebus himself did some odd years ago, better and more almighty then ever.
Aside from that i haven't been up to much outside of worrying about myself. I get like that when ill, all worry-ee. I'm a total puss. I'm good at stuff like getting punched in the face or slammed by frozen onions but i can't handle lingering, long term, slightly achy pain. When you give it to me give it to me raw. I think that i read somewhere that men are better suited to take pain, quick pain like punches and kicks and chicks do better with slow lingery type agony, like childbirth. Interesting. Not really.
I think that my folks are going to drop of Zelly any minute now so i should prolly go and do something before she gets here. What? Nothing, i have nothing that needs done. just feel like i should be doing something with my free time aside from writing something NO ONE except for Sara Bir, Rohi and maybe a couple other dorks read....

clutter

It's weird and quiet here in the liberry basement. It's a partial holiday. On account of Lincoln's b-day. Partial means that only public service staff has to come down, but we get comp time for it. I love comp time. So, anyhow I'm down here in the basement with only me and janitor Jim afoot. Jim's cool. He wears cowboy shirts in a non-ironic way.
I think that we might go to the thrift, it's half off. I'm sofa king tired though. I was up till 4:30 last night watching the Playboy network, well I smoked a bowl of really good weed and had a vodka 7-up so really I was just staring, not really watching. It was this special about Jenna Jameson. What a vapid bitch. No, she's not a bitch, I guess. She seems nice but dude, she's all boring, fake boobied and loud. Like WEEEEWWW, when she's in a crowd loud. If you catch my drift.
So yah I was up late being dumb now I'm totally paying the price for it by being all tired and stupid.
Dude, this is so gay. Why not go read Sara's blog. She always has something to say, me, hardly ever...

i had a ruinous cyst on my, uhm the area where your butt cheeks meet at the bottom of your back. Don't laugh, those of you who saw it know that it was the real dea,l as far as being fucked up go. My lower back was all puffy with infection. Oh man, it hurt like a mo-fo. It was a prenoidal, i think that's how it's spelled, cyst. It's like bonechips and shit all up in your back or some shit.
Dude, the doctor had me lay all up on my stomach then he waylaid me with a scalpel. Ruinous. It hurt like the dickens, man. I was, no shit screaming in pain. Holy cripes. It was AWFUL. Then he squeezed it with his stubby little Lord Of The Ring dwarf ass fingers. He showed me no mercy. I would have so spilled the beans if this was a torture interogation, now i'm no member of the quick tap club but i was giving it up like he was Stu Hart and i was spread eagle atop the proverbial mountain.
Then i found another infection but wasn't about to go back for more of that nonsense so Maritza put in work squeezing goo out of it twice, sometimes three times a day. Finally one day, maybe, 5 days of pain and squeezing in she broke through some crud and like three or four table spoons of bloody yuck shot, in her estimation 4 inches straight up into the yonder, I screamed, so did she but for different reasons entirely.
You know though that kind of dedication shows me that she is bonafied (not that i didn't realize this before). Only an A number one wife is going to go through that hullabaloo when she'd much rather be chug a lugging vodka tonics while watching the Gillmore Girls, or whatever.
Got that out of the way. What's new with you? I don't care. I'm better now, if you were wondering. I should prolly have mentioned that already. For, you know, your sake. You can quit worrying now.
I think that i'm going to apply for this circulation desk position. It's one more hour per week and one less day. Can't beat that. Weekends, but i really don't like having them off anyway. It's like everyone else does so every place that you go is crowded. I get squirelly around crowds, that's just me.
Well, i'm hungry but now that i can sit down again expect me to get back to regular updates...

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