Confounded Accusations

Today is boring. Someone told me that, or maybe i heard it in a song that if your bored then you/must be boring too. Prolly the case. Today i am boring. I played video games. Read the new Batman that i got the other day at Clark's and uhm, looked at net porn. I'm a winner like Bruce Jenner eating Mc's for dinner. That's about the sum of it. That's great in it? To be such a cool guy. Oola still loves me and i am a handsome fella so there. I have one up on you. Stupid. Plus i have crazy mad talent and uhm like 2000 mp3s at my disposal. What do you have? A stupid cd collection full of comps that they sell on TV like the best of the 80's and shit. Oh, i hear the GTA cd box set is the stuff. I might have to cop it. Uhm oh ya, i was capping on you. Uhm, i hate your shirt. It makes you look fat and on top of that is the fact that clothes don't make you look fat. Fat makes you look fat. Chew on that next time you want a peanut butter cup, slim. Ugh, get me away from here, i'm dying. I want some promises from you. Keep me going. Keep me honest and don't let me write things that only bring me down. Make shit count and try and have each word have a purpose even if that purpose is rambling on about nothing.

I'm at work. It's cold outside. I'm wearing pants which I normally don't do. I wear shorts. Uhm, exciting to be me. I was thinking earlier that I feel reticent. That's prolly not too weird around this time of year. I think that most people like to look back at the year that has gone by and see what they've accomplished. Thing is that no matter what you did unless you like rode on the space shuttle or whatever it's going to seem like you did nothing. That's funny, not in a ha ha way. It may be that all the shit that you spent time doing wasn't really as important as it seemed at the time. So when looking back you finally realize that as the truth. Your life is just killing time.
I wrote, a lot. So I know that in that sense I didn't waste my time. I started writing comics which I love. I got OOLA, spent time with Zelly and my wife. It was a good year as far as that shit goes. I invented the Kick Ass Kid and her pal Merit. That's cool. uhm, that's about it as far as that shit goes.
I think overall I grew as a writer and as a parent and honestly I don't think that I could ask for much more then that. Sure I could have had more work published. Marvel could have bought Fateball and I could have been all famous and stuff but whatever, in the grand scheme of things I'm young and i enjoy writing so even if i never sell a word, which i hope isn't the case at least i had fun working and that's more then can be said for most people.
Happy new year...

I was at the pizza joint with my family earlier and dude you won't believe this, i found a hundred dollar bill. Is that killer or what? I feel shitty for whoever lost it, i do but at the same time how am i supposed to find him right? Well anyway i took it and went to the store and bought the Ultimate Ric Flair collection on DVD. It's a 3 disk set of Natch being the man that only he can. It rules ass yo. I gave my old lady fifty and she bought some clothes. I still have a twamp left. I think that i'll buy either a bottle of wine or a graphic novel. At the comic store they have the first appearance of Neil Gaiman's Death, she's this fluffy little goth chick. I like the character and might buy that instead, it's 18 bucks. Maybe I'll buy some other shit like a pack of pocket heroes, who knows? It's cool to find cash huh? Anyway i gotta get back to my disc. Ric's about to throw down with Harley Race in a steel cage. Can't, IMHO get much more fun then that. Plus i took some vics earlier so all is well with the world right about now....

so my wife walks in and i'm listening to Lisa Loeb, and if that's not embarassing enough during the minutes i was fucking around in before she came into my office i was grooving to some Sarah Mclachlan ( i have no clue if that's how it's spelt or not, really i don't care) What's going on with me? I'm becoming such a woosy. The fact that i don't care is what's really alarming. Ok, I love Lisa Loeb, like in a sexual way, she's like really high on my fake pretend girlfriend list, with uhm, Morgan Webb, Brody Armstrong and Salma Hayek, but at the same time i love her glasses and pretty nose i do in actual factness like her music. I think that she has a sweet voice. When she sings a love song you want to love her and when she sings something sad you, well i want to comfort her. I don't care what you think, she's a guilty pleasure that i'm not really all that guilty about.

Sorry, long time no hear from. I haven't heard from my pal sara in awhile. I'm a bit concerned. Usually i get an email or something everyday. I hope that she's all right. If you read this get back to me.
Outside of that i don't know what to say. My daughter isn't here and as much as i like time to myself i can't think of anything to do with myself. I'm going to go and get some drinks with Greg later but as for right now, ugh... and i can't get to my email which sucks. SBCGLOBAL is cool but dude, i get problems like this all the time. Some how my password got changed and i got ahold of tech support and the dude was helpful but he said it would be 24 hours til it got back to normal. What's up with that? Whatever. I just want to read my e-mail.
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. I still haven't done any shopping outside of my wife and baby. We're gonna do that shit tomorrow. UGH, this post is so gay. I'm gonna kill myself now.....

i went to pick up my crazy pills at Long's yesserday and the pharmacy girl, not the pharmacist mind you but the girl who hands out the meds and rings up the sale, her name is Emily and she's this crazy pretty goth chick with this awesome like greek sort of face and all that stuff, plus she wears this sexy ass lab coat so her little goth head with a spiky collar around the neck looks all killer and cute in an out of place kind of way, but anyway i went to pick up my pills right? And she totally winked at me. What's up with that? I hope it was a look at that sexy guy who just got his hair cut kind of thing and not a look it's that crooked haired jerk off here to get his monthly pick up of sanity medicine again.. I think it was cause i looked all fly and had this awesome jacket on with this little dude with devil horns over the pocket. Plus like i said i just got my head cut so i looked fresh and clean and shit. If i wasn't married, which once you are married you'll find yourself saying or thinking all the time, i would have had to investigated her intentions a little further. Maybe she was just being friendly or maybe she had some dust in her eye. Who cares? I mean i do but why would i think that you would?
I was drunk last night then i woke up and my head hurt. That's a shitty phenom isn't it.. Someone should invent hangover free booze. Feel free to steal that idea if you are some sort of a chemist or whatever...

yo, uhm hi i guess. I ate some sushi from Oliver's. It was good, suprisingly fresh for a thursday. The wife and baby are out bowling. This is usually my time to write but, well i guess that i am writing so that kills all the shit i was gon' write about wasting my time and watching UFC tapes instead of pooping out some work. Not that this is anything cool or huge but it's something.
I had a headache today. It's one of my depresssion symptoms. I get head and stomach aches. I'm lame like that. It doesn't hurt now so i kind of suspect that i'm on the downside of the whole thing which is good. I think that it's ran it's course anyway. It's about time to get back to being happy or whatever.
I don't really have shit to say. I say that a lot. I just finished work on the third issue of the Kick Ass Kid which is really good. It's cool to have some breathing space. I need another artist to work with as well as Greg I think that i have the nuts to work on three different projects a month. I'd like the KAK and maybe Carlos Angeles and something else like Strange As Angels or something more serious, something with some romance and relationships. Like Hopeless Savages or whatever. I like to think of things that aren't so superhero oriented but that shit doesn't sell but what was it that someone said on this one song that i like? You can either be rich or be honest?

hey, man you know what? Not getting this job has really fucked me up more then i thought, plus i keep forgetting to take my meds cause i'm stupid. So when i need them most, like that leo sayer song, they're not there for me. Dude i am so gay sometimes. I need to keep up on that shit cause i'm like listening to Bell and Sebastian 24-7 and, don't tell anyone that i said this but i've thrown a little Dashboard Confessional in the mix. Hows that for mopey shit. I should just end this and start pumping some Ozzie, like Crazy Train or some Dio, dude, i need to be rocking not moping. I found some Audioslave on the hard drive. Lets see if that gets the rock going, nope. Uhm let's see what else is on this piece...Christopher Cross.. Sailing takes me away, uhm... Cory Hart, two cory songs.. ugh. Elliot Smith, Dido.. ugh, i'm gonna make like a rock star and put the gun at my head and pull the trigger, twice. For The Longest time by Billy Joel, ugh. Someone took a dive tonight, follow where the money goes... Wait heres the good shit. EPMD, 3rd Bass, Cool J, some of that kick ass Def Jam late 80's early 90's stuff. That was my all time fave era of music. Reminds me of cutting school and smiking weed over at Ric Flak's pad.. Oh no, men at work? John Cougar? Journey, 3 journey songs... what the fuck. If this gets out the cute 15 yr old volunteer at my work won't look at me as the cool music guy anymore. On second thought i'm sure i could tell her that Journey is some sick ass underground band from holland and she'd totally buy it... what does she know... ? I was all like whatever.....

i'm not sure, but uhm, i might be drunk.

Well I applied to get a better position, i don't know if it's better but it pays more. At any rate they didn't give it to me. That so sucks. It really sucks, it hurts cause i guess in my head it seems like they don't want me to stay. I've been there for years now and really it's time for me to do something different. I like what i do, it's cool but i'm so totaly bored of it. I need some new challenges. I need to do different things. I really want to do some new shit. I like where i work and want to stay there but i can't keep on doing what i do. Oh, it hurts dude. I feel so sad about this. I thought that i did really good during my interview, oh dig this i got a letter from them saying that i didn't get the job and fuck this shit dude, it was written the day before i interviewed. They knew that they didn't want me and they made me interview anyway. Cocksmokers. They should have done a better job of that, at least dated it so it seemed like i had a chance. Whatever, i gotta go, i'm going to do a shooting star press off my roof.

I hate milk. Hate it. Except in cereal, i suppose that's a hold over from my stoner days. I love cereal like I'm a low rent seinfeld hanging with a couple of goofballs and a slutty chick that is way hotter then she ever got credit for. Uhm ya, so anyway my friend Lola axed me (dig the ghetto slang "axe") if i ever drank boobie milk, i was all like, have you? fucking wierdo.. I didn't say that even though i know that she totally has. That'd be something to see, oh, i mean that she totally as an adult, i didn't mean when she was nursing or anything gnarly like that. So, for the record i did taste it off my finger once. It was like watermelon juice. Not that bad even though i wouldn't choose it over a pepsi one or anything.. My daughter is coughing. I gotta go.. More later...