Confounded Accusations

Wow, Zelly is really pitching a fit right now. Super fucking fit. Do you think that it's normal to have violent thoughts at moments like this? I wonder? I imagine that it is. How can you not. Seriously. Unless your ass is on some real life, real deal zen stuff then your first instinct when faced with a out of the blue bitch fit is to throw down a little smack. You don't of course. Self control is what seperates us from people who bruise kids up.. whatev

That's from when i split my head on the door frame. It bled a lot.. I was wearing the crimson mask..
Taste the bread and butter as i take it to your face.

Polk v. My house shoe
Taste the bread and butter as i take it to your face.

POLK
Taste the bread and butter as i take it to your face.

hey, i think that i feel a bit better today. i think that it was the weather. I get pretty bad weather related depression. As much as i want to be like ian Curtis and hate the sun and never get a tan i suppose the fact of the matter is that i AM mexican and i prolly in some way need it, i guess. I tan pretty quickly so, whatever that is worth..
Has anyone out there been watching the new season of X-Play? Shit, i hope so cause Morgan Webb looks dynamite. It's not that she's lost weight or anything but for sure she's tightened up and put on a little muscle in the upperbody. I bet she swims. That's cool it gives a broad a nice healthy body but not really bulky or anything. She has monkey arms too so i'm sure she can flip water like no one's buisness. Oh and she dyed her hair black, like mine. We both rule ass. Here is a little site she updates all the time...
Zelly wants to watch Blue's Clues or something. I said no, she got mad and kind of fake cried at me.. What a nerd. Like i buy that stuff.. I have to get some pics of my new kat Polk up here. She's sitting on my lap right now. She really likes me. It's flattering when some little thing takes a shine to you. Can't help but help brighten the mood a bit. Except she meows a lot and that makes me want to crack open her little skull when i'm sleeping...

This is like, a team shot, I guess, It's all the peeps that me and Poloynis made up, from left to right... Merit Moorland, Kick Ass Kid, Carlos Angeles, KOZ, Missy Broadbahr, RockCandy and Fateball, on the kneel.. Cool huh...
Taste the bread and butter as i take it to your face.

So, this is kind of how it is right now. I'm terribly depressed. That's not really anything new as long time readers will know, but it has been awhile. I have the kind of thing going on where it's hard to do anything. I stayed home from work today just cause I felt to freakin' UGH to actually go in and do anything. That's great huh? I hate that part of me, the part that hides. All I did today was lay on the couch. I didn't read, didn't watch TV, nothing. I just lied there all quiet and shitty.
nice, huh, it's nice to be me sometimes. Sometimes it really is but I was being facetious with that last bit. it sucks pipe to be me at the moment. I'm sure that i'll snap back but there is always that fear that i might not. I guess some cats stay depressed forever, doesn't seem outside the realm of things that happen. On top of all this hooey, i miss Lola. Isn't that funny, i miss her like way bad. I knew i'd miss her a bit but man, it's harder then i thought to not have her around, I think that it's is adding to my current work related problems nice, huh? Well, i don't imagine that she misses me all that much, i'm sure it's a little bit but she's home and that's nice for her but in the meantime i'm still here and i'm wondering, all the time really what she's up to. I feel like such a loser.
Plus, i dyed my hair last week and it didn't take on the top, it's still all brown and shit... that's about it. Have a good one and be nice to someone that you don't think has someone be nice to them all to often, that's like homework..

i just took an allergy pill and now my head feels like it's floating a few feet above my body connected only big a little string. I think that i saw that in a commercial for these very same allergy pills. I think that maybe this is considered one of the positive effects of this particular drug. It's a substitute for 'Ludes, which i've never tried but imagine to feel something like this. Tired, dopey and disconected from all of the shit going on around you. Uhm, i'm at work by the by. If that matters at all. I want to crawl over the close stacks and take a litttle bitty nap in the one of the discard bins..

Lately I've been having these feelings that I should try and mend the fence with some people that I used to be friends with. I don't know why I feel this way but I guess it's that I miss them. Mostly it's Evita who I was horribly mean to when she quit working for us. I really like her and at least want to call her up and tell her that I'm sorry for being a dick. Then there's Terrie Samundra who for reasons I can't explain I just quit talking to. It was weird, one day I was just not in the mood for her and really never talked to her again. She really reamed me out about it and told me that I was a shitty friend, which was true. At the time I didn't really care and I suppose that I thought that I was going to be able to rectify it eventually but then she quit the liberry and I haven't seen her since. I tried to e-mail her yesterday night. I hope that she responds but inside I don't really think that she will. I guess I just want to tell her that I'm sorry.
Evita on the other hand is going to be a tough nut to unshell, she's mean as shit and seems to be able to carry a grudge to Sisyphean lengths, much like me. This job is going to take a velvet glove approach that isn't really my best technique, plus she has my Dr. Octagon cd and my GO dvd which i really, really need to get back...

So I've been reading a lot lately about the government and it's reduction of benefits for vets. First off let me say that I think that this is the illest. It's the kind of shit that really brings a shame on our nation as a whole. It's something that every person should feel embarrassed about. You, me, your mom, everyone. To me it seems like if someone goes over to some kooky foreign country and points a rifle at someone else and has them point one back, well it takes and this is completely discounting the potential physical risks, a heavy mental toll that if this person feels like they don't want to go to work after they get back to America or they feel like they want to sit around the house and drink vodka tonics and watch Green Acres then, well let em'. It's something that I think is almost a right of there's. I'm rambling a bit but I think that I'm getting my point across here. Go somewhere, fight and get home alive, in one piece or not and we as a country should take care of you FOREVER. We can afford it. I know that, you know that. Seems like the only ones who don't are the ones that sign the checks.

me and greg went to this chinee joint across from the liberry, the place is called ting hau right? Ok, that's not important, but there was these two super cute, well one of them was super cute she had braids and like really dark beautiful morena style skin. The other one was o.k, but she was trying to hard to be pretty, if you get what i'm saying. Anyhow we were all set to order when they started like, holding their menus so that we couldn't see them and all talking and shit. It bugged me, cause like, what were they saying? My guess was that they thought that we were gay. That sucks, i mean i like i'm fruity looking sometimes but yo, Jimmy fujita aint no mo. Dig it? Whatever, i'm drunk so ya, have a good night, stupid

I was telling Greg, who hates it here. He hates it every place and always wants to move somewhere else, anyway I was telling him that no matter where you live it's always the same. You smoke ciggies, sit around and watch people walk by. Here we have tons of cute little punk rock girls to look at and some cutie patooty little goths too. It's not bad. Could be worse, WAY worse. During the summer they wear skirts and in the winter, hoodies and ski caps.
Dude, that's it. That's life. Smoking and watching people walk by. Sometimes some other shit happens and then either your happy or sad depending on the situation. Happy lots= good times, not happy lots=bad times. That's math to sum it all up: happy > sad. Get it? I hope so, life is easy. Smoke, sit, read, drink coffee, hopefully make something interesting every once and again, get some exercise, ride a bike or whatever and try to be reading a good book at all free moments... ta-da. I told you the deal, now live it and try to be good to one another. If you want... I guess

yesterday i fell on a pool of water in the grocery store and cracked my head on the floor, i was wearing flip-flops. No traction, anyway i think that i got concussed cause i couldn't remember my phone number. Ok, a few minutes ago i was on the main floor pushing a cart of books around and i think that i blacked out. I'm pretty sure i did cause all of a sudden the books fell all over the floor and i had no idea what happened. Great huh? I mentioned how i split my melon open a couple of weeks back right? Well I think that i am well on my way to becoming punch drunk like Jerry Quarry or whatever ( he was this white dude who fought Ali back in the day and now he can't tell the ass end of a donkey from a hole in the ground cause of all the damage he took) that sucks, i need to see Dr. Bloom. I don't want to scare my old lady though but i'd be lying if i didn't admit to being a little shook up myself. It sucked and the books made this super loud sound and then this lady started talking to me about all sorts of crazy shit and she smelled and had a sweaty upper lip. She was nice, i guess but i wasn't in any mood to chit-chat. I was like all scared that i was going to be all 'tarded up. Then i went to call home right? and misdialed the number THREE times before getting it right. Dude, i need a cat scan