Confounded Accusations

right now, this minute i feel worse then i ever have. I wish that i was dead. if i didn't have a family i'd kill myself. I think that it would overall be a good idea, i really fuck everything in my life up to the point that it is just so awful that i can't imagine lasting another minute. I feel so bad. i can't quit crying and wish that i wouldn't have to wake up to another day of this fucking shit. Man, i just want to not be, i want to vanish and make it like i never was. I don't deserve anything that i have, nothing. I'm one of the biggest pieces of shit walking the face of the earth. i have no idea what somebody like me is for? I hate myself so bad. I really just want to die and have all of this shit be done with. i feel so awful, i just wish this would all end sometimes. I feel like someone should come and lock me up for my own safety. God, i feel so fucking horrible. I've never, ever felt like this. I think that i'm so deep down that i'll never dig my way to the surface. -1000, that's how i'd rate me right now. I'm in this position, this self made problem that leaves me with no one to talk to. I'm like totally alone. I have no one, no one. I can't talk, can't share and that makes all this worse. I really wish that i just tacked a sheet over the window and stayed in bed all day but i'm not tired despite sleeping like two hours. I wish i was dead, no i wish that i was never born. That would save everyone the trouble of getting involved and at the same time it'd do the same for me. I don't love anything. Not even christmas.


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